Do you ever see a phrase that just strikes you at the right moment? Say, like the moment you're in a flunk and trying to haul yourself out of it? The words make you sit up and think "Yes, that's what I need to do. That's what I need to focus on". I've had moments like that before but yesterday that feeling was brought upon by the words above.
I spend more time than I like beating myself up about things that either I cannot control, cannot change or ultimately aren't that important. A bad habit that I know I'm not alone in. One need only search the words 'Alone', 'Sad' or 'Hopeless' to see just how many people feel that way.
The simple truth is this: Beating myself up isn't going to solve my issues. Taking care of myself will.
In December 2011 I started a 101 things to do in 1001 days list at the Day Zero Project. For those who are not familiar with the Day Zero website or their 101 things to do 1001 days challenge it's essentially a to-do list for two and a half years in which you try to accomplish goals you'd like to have attempted or completed within that time frame. The Day Zero Project is a neat site where you can post your list, find suggestions for fun goals to accomplish, keep track of your accomplishments, post pictures of completed goals and more. I highly recommend it if you like a challenge and/or like to make lists.
I've completed 54 out of my 101 tasks (see my list) and I have another 500+ days left to go to complete the other 53 tasks left on my list. Sadly I've been sidetracked and feeling lazy the past few months (which I blame the winter for weather) but now with the first day of spring and knowing that summer will soon be here I'm going to try and kick my ass in the gear to finish this list.
I want to get back into this because I generally feel like I haven't accomplished enough. There's so many great things in the world to see, do and experience so having a list like the ones I have on the Day Zero Project make me feel more motivated to get out there and do more. Of course, not all my goals are major ones. On my Day Zero list I made a point of putting in goals that were more mundane or realistic or silly. It's quite different from my Someday list which has a ton of travel goals I may never accomplish (but hopefully will) but there's a reason why I made the two lists so different.
When I originally started my 101 list in 2011 I was after going through one of the roughest years of my life after someone dear to me committed suicide. Starting the list was one of my first steps to start moving my life forward again away from the grief and sadness and I knew that keeping it simple and making the goals attainable was more important to me than accomplishing my bigger dreams and hopes at that time. When each goal was achieved I felt better about myself and my life which eventually motivated me to make bigger changes such as dating again and moving to my own apartment to live alone for the first time. Small changes perhaps for some people but both were large and daunting me at the time.
That's why Day Zero is important to me and why I want to keep going to finish my 101 list. Even if the goals are mundane or silly, accomplishing even the smallest one could help lead me to making the next big change in my life.
I've decided that in order to motivate myself to write more, I'm going to try and post something I find to be wonderful, fascinating, beautiful or just plain neat on Wednesdays. The first Wednesday wonder is the photography series Wait Watchers by Artist Haley Morris-Cafiero.
The above image is just one of the pictures from the series where the artist takes photographs of herself in public spaces and captures the judgmental looks she receives from others in the crowd for simply being a overweight woman in public. To me this photo series is heartbreaking and illuminating. It's sad to see others laughing at, making fun and/or simply looking at this woman in disgust just because of her body yet it's also eye-opening because it makes the viewer think about their own reactions in public. How often and how easily do we look at others around us and judge them on their physical appearance? It certainly made me wonder if I do what the woman in white does in the picture above and if I ever made someone feel bad about themselves. A uncomfortable feeling to be sure but I like that about this work. I like that it makes me think about my own actions and I like how it puts a spotlight on just how commonplace this type of judgement is.
I’ve decided to revamp this blog so I write openly again and share my thoughts
I’ve decided that I will not worry about making sense,
making a point or making myself into someone I think I should be or that should
be read about. I’m just going to write.
I’ve decided that this will not be chore and that I will not
force myself to meet a quota or a set margin that I’ll ultimately come to
resent. I will write when and if the urge strikes. My posts will range from
short posts to long ramblings. They may be filled with pictures or they may
just be filled with text. Some may have a theme and that’s fine. Some may be
hauled from my brain and typed with random abandon and that’s also fine.